Had the egg hunt today (not an Easter Egg Hunt...a Spring Egg Hunt with a Spring Tea afterwards...)....the weather was awful last night, so I didn't see any way that we could have it outside, but we did and it was fine.
Recorded the working vocal on another song...Psalm 62:11-12a
"One thing God has spoken, two things have I heard: that you, O God, are strong,
and that you, O Lord, are loving."
The Guitar Hero really outdid himself this time on the music...so so excellent. I am planning to do the "real" vocal next Saturday...
Tomorrow we are doing our Passover remembrance because we have an immovable conflict on Monday. I don't like that, but it will still be good. This is our third year of doing it, and some in our group feel that it is one of the best holidays we celebrate. I am sure it is not exactly what a Jewish family would do, but for us it is meaningful. I used to call it Passover, but as I said, it's not exactly right, so thus the fudging of the name.
As Lent draws to a close, I look back on my plans for it....I didn't even get near to what I thought I would do. And now my life is going to be completely different for awhile than what I would have thought almost 40 days ago. But it's been good. And I will keep plugging away at my goals...and will try to keep my priorities in line. They got kind of out of whack there for a bit.
I have been sitting here for about 5 minutes just kind of staring off...I just have a real feeling of general peace right now...I hope it stays...it's not that everything is going perfectly, but at least for now, I am not twisted up about anything. I am feeling thankful for my friends, thankful for the music that God gives me, thankful for my family, thankful for God's hand in my life. I still have some things to work on, to work out, etc, but I have a peace that that will happen. And then there will probably be other things, but that's OK.
Enough of that...nice to feel but boring to read I am sure....thanks for reading it anyway.
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Monday, March 26, 2007
lent day thirty three
Grace...
Today was the first day that the kids were back in school... We were all ready on time and I made great time to the school.
As I was heading back, I was thinking about all the things I wanted to accomplish today.
All of a sudden, I realized that I was whipping through a school zone. Probably about 35, but faster than the speed limit.
I abruptly put on the brakes.
I looked in the rearview mirror, and there was a police car behind me.
I proceeded to give myself a good talking to.
"Stupid stupid stupid...you totally deserve the ticket you are about to get."
I wasn't really mad about the ticket...I was just mad at myself because I should have been more careful. I have kids, too, and I want people to pay attention.
The police car followed me for about a block, then sped up, got in the left turn lane and drove away.
Not with sirens or flashing lights...just drove away. I was relieved, of course...and amazed that I didn't get ticketed.
I knew I deserved it.
And I carefully drove home.
Today was the first day that the kids were back in school... We were all ready on time and I made great time to the school.
As I was heading back, I was thinking about all the things I wanted to accomplish today.
All of a sudden, I realized that I was whipping through a school zone. Probably about 35, but faster than the speed limit.
I abruptly put on the brakes.
I looked in the rearview mirror, and there was a police car behind me.
I proceeded to give myself a good talking to.
"Stupid stupid stupid...you totally deserve the ticket you are about to get."
I wasn't really mad about the ticket...I was just mad at myself because I should have been more careful. I have kids, too, and I want people to pay attention.
The police car followed me for about a block, then sped up, got in the left turn lane and drove away.
Not with sirens or flashing lights...just drove away. I was relieved, of course...and amazed that I didn't get ticketed.
I knew I deserved it.
And I carefully drove home.
Sunday, March 25, 2007
lent day sunday
Keep meaning to do this, but I don't seem to have the memory of a g-nat....
God blesses those people
who want to obey him more than to eat or drink.
They will be given what they want! Matthew 5:6
Doesn't this say that if a person wants to obey God, He blesses them and helps them to obey Him? And if we are to obey Him, doesn't that mean that there are commands to obey?
We know that we have come to know him if we obey his commands. The man who says, "I know him," but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But if anyone obeys his word, God's love is truly made complete in him. This is how we know we are in him: Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did. 1 John 2:3-6
So what is His Word? The 10 Commandments? Matthew 5-8? Every word that came out of Jesus' mouth? Anything said in the Bible at all? I am not sure about that...what He meant. I think that when He said
And He said to him, " 'YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND.'
"This is the great and foremost commandment.
"The second is like it, 'YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.'
"On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets." Matt. 22:37-40
I don't think He meant that now we just tell God we love Him and thank Him for His grace and "love" everyone and go forget the rest. I think He meant,
"Think about Me all the time and consider me in all you do...and follow what I say in My Word. And love people, and by that, I mean treat them in the way that I describe here in My Word."
Because we don't know what love is, really, or how to do it.
We all want the quick answer...the cliff notes to the Bible....we want to somehow "sense" what the right thing is, and how to treat people. If I can read (and I can) I think that it is my responsibility to learn all I can from what He has given already in His Word...and this is not a burden...it is the Words of the One Who loves us more than anyone else ever could.
Why is it so hard to take time to see what He has to say to us? Or hear it? Dramatized audio NIV? Played in the car on the way to work? But even that sometimes is hard to start...It has to be our flesh that makes us unwilling and I am guilty of this as much as anyone.
I am so thankful for His Word. That is the standard by which we are to live. I fall short so many times, but it is a comfort to me to have it there to guide my life when I am willing to follow.
And when I am trying to follow His Word, it is not because I am trying to buy my salvation or win my way to the front of the line by being the best...it is because I am so thankful for what He has done for me, both on the cross and everything before and since.
I am amazed at His attention toward me and His love for me. (and not just me, but anyone who is reading this). And there is no way I could ever even the score, but why not try?
Why not try to do everything He says?
Why not try to live better than what I am?
Why not say to myself, "You are not going to
participate in,
listen to,
watch,
think about,
act like,
talk like
that... because you are God's child and He deserves better from you?".
I want to do what He asks me to do in His Word...it is not a begrudged thing...in my heart I want to please Him.
Not out of fear, or a sense of working for my salvation, but out of gratitude.
Thank You, God, for the boundaries You put in place...and thank You for Your precious Word that tells us how to live.
God blesses those people
who want to obey him more than to eat or drink.
They will be given what they want! Matthew 5:6
Doesn't this say that if a person wants to obey God, He blesses them and helps them to obey Him? And if we are to obey Him, doesn't that mean that there are commands to obey?
We know that we have come to know him if we obey his commands. The man who says, "I know him," but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But if anyone obeys his word, God's love is truly made complete in him. This is how we know we are in him: Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did. 1 John 2:3-6
So what is His Word? The 10 Commandments? Matthew 5-8? Every word that came out of Jesus' mouth? Anything said in the Bible at all? I am not sure about that...what He meant. I think that when He said
And He said to him, " 'YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND.'
"This is the great and foremost commandment.
"The second is like it, 'YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.'
"On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets." Matt. 22:37-40
I don't think He meant that now we just tell God we love Him and thank Him for His grace and "love" everyone and go forget the rest. I think He meant,
"Think about Me all the time and consider me in all you do...and follow what I say in My Word. And love people, and by that, I mean treat them in the way that I describe here in My Word."
Because we don't know what love is, really, or how to do it.
We all want the quick answer...the cliff notes to the Bible....we want to somehow "sense" what the right thing is, and how to treat people. If I can read (and I can) I think that it is my responsibility to learn all I can from what He has given already in His Word...and this is not a burden...it is the Words of the One Who loves us more than anyone else ever could.
Why is it so hard to take time to see what He has to say to us? Or hear it? Dramatized audio NIV? Played in the car on the way to work? But even that sometimes is hard to start...It has to be our flesh that makes us unwilling and I am guilty of this as much as anyone.
I am so thankful for His Word. That is the standard by which we are to live. I fall short so many times, but it is a comfort to me to have it there to guide my life when I am willing to follow.
And when I am trying to follow His Word, it is not because I am trying to buy my salvation or win my way to the front of the line by being the best...it is because I am so thankful for what He has done for me, both on the cross and everything before and since.
I am amazed at His attention toward me and His love for me. (and not just me, but anyone who is reading this). And there is no way I could ever even the score, but why not try?
Why not try to do everything He says?
Why not try to live better than what I am?
Why not say to myself, "You are not going to
participate in,
listen to,
watch,
think about,
act like,
talk like
that... because you are God's child and He deserves better from you?".
I want to do what He asks me to do in His Word...it is not a begrudged thing...in my heart I want to please Him.
Not out of fear, or a sense of working for my salvation, but out of gratitude.
Thank You, God, for the boundaries You put in place...and thank You for Your precious Word that tells us how to live.
Friday, March 23, 2007
lent day twenty eight
Well, although Spring Break has been fabulous, I haven't done much in the packing/organizing arena...It makes me laugh to read my posts that were gearing up for this break.
Still plugging away (in a good way) on the New Testament.
I guess the other thing that has been significant is that the mindset I have tried to have regarding the Sabbath (which is basically
1. getting everything done that I can,
2. trying to prepare my heart and life as best I can and then
3. giving myself permission to let go of those unrelenting tasks for Sundays)
has kind of spilled over to this week.
I am not allowing myself to get all balled up about things not going according to my plan.
I am not allowing myself to worry about things during times when I need to be in the moment with my family.
I am not allowing myself to feel torn between the things that aren't getting done and the things I am doing.
I am not allowing myself to be overtaken with feelings of entitlism or worrying that things may be passing me by.
And it hasn't been a big fight to do that. That is the amazing part for me.
I am still going to work on things...I am still going to plan....I am still going to have goals...but if things happen as they sometimes do, and I don't accomplish everything :-), I will adjust, regroup, reflect, and start over. That's the plan for now, anyway.
Monday, March 19, 2007
lent day twenty five
Packed a few boxes...got my hair colored. Downloaded the moving essay from FlyLady. Going to try to pack up a few more things before the day is out. In looking at our stuff to get rid of, I am wondering if we might want to have a garage sale or just send it all to Goodwill. Guess there is time to think about that.
Although I still am enjoying the audio Bible, the story type books are easier to follow. We are now in 1 Corinthians...it's good but you have to really pay attention. Sometimes I go back and listen again during the day.
AT THIS MOMENT I would say that my victory (although only partial) is that I think I have given myself permission to let things go on Sunday...things that might be bothering me, stressing me out, concerning me on other days...I have been able to allow myself to have a day off from those things, which is excellent.
I am still pressing on to the ultimate of having things more under control...and I think I will reach that at some point. With the move, I am not sure it will be Easter, but you never know.:-)
Bleep Blop Buffalo and I are having some quality time tonight...we are watching a video, playing some games, eating whatever dinner we want...stuff like that. Mr. Buffalo and the two older Buffaloes are out doing big kid stuff...
Not getting as much done and I would like, but I am pretty good with it. It will get done.
Although I still am enjoying the audio Bible, the story type books are easier to follow. We are now in 1 Corinthians...it's good but you have to really pay attention. Sometimes I go back and listen again during the day.
AT THIS MOMENT I would say that my victory (although only partial) is that I think I have given myself permission to let things go on Sunday...things that might be bothering me, stressing me out, concerning me on other days...I have been able to allow myself to have a day off from those things, which is excellent.
I am still pressing on to the ultimate of having things more under control...and I think I will reach that at some point. With the move, I am not sure it will be Easter, but you never know.:-)
Bleep Blop Buffalo and I are having some quality time tonight...we are watching a video, playing some games, eating whatever dinner we want...stuff like that. Mr. Buffalo and the two older Buffaloes are out doing big kid stuff...
Not getting as much done and I would like, but I am pretty good with it. It will get done.
Friday, March 16, 2007
lent 23
OK, I don't think this is really the 23rd day of lent, but as per usual, we Buffaloes are doing it our own way.
I counted up to the Resurrection and took out Good Friday (because we have a thing we do that day already) and the school program for Easter, and Passover (because the Seder takes up a goodly portion of the evening), and that pretty much meant we had to go every day to get 40 before the end. So just ignore that number in the title.
This is the beginning of Spring Break...I have already informed the rest of the herd that we will be packing quite a bit of the break (did I mention that we are moving? Just across town)...Mr. Buffalo will be here, no driving from here to eternity to get everyone to school...I have high hopes of getting some stuff done.
The big move will be the beginning of May I think.
As a result of a casual remark about some women looking "mommish" (and that is all I am going to say about it) made by another, I have been completely loyal to the Atkins plan for the last 10 days...it really does work if you are serious with it. I am back to the mindset that "I am never going to look any younger than I do today, and if I am going to get into shape, this is the time"...
Almost through with Acts...it was great....get the audio if you can. Really fun.
OK...off to straighten for the weekend...because "my family is my primary ministry (thank you, Priscilla) "...and they would like to have a straight house to enjoy the weekend in, I think.
Then off to make a master list for next week...
I counted up to the Resurrection and took out Good Friday (because we have a thing we do that day already) and the school program for Easter, and Passover (because the Seder takes up a goodly portion of the evening), and that pretty much meant we had to go every day to get 40 before the end. So just ignore that number in the title.
This is the beginning of Spring Break...I have already informed the rest of the herd that we will be packing quite a bit of the break (did I mention that we are moving? Just across town)...Mr. Buffalo will be here, no driving from here to eternity to get everyone to school...I have high hopes of getting some stuff done.
The big move will be the beginning of May I think.
As a result of a casual remark about some women looking "mommish" (and that is all I am going to say about it) made by another, I have been completely loyal to the Atkins plan for the last 10 days...it really does work if you are serious with it. I am back to the mindset that "I am never going to look any younger than I do today, and if I am going to get into shape, this is the time"...
Almost through with Acts...it was great....get the audio if you can. Really fun.
OK...off to straighten for the weekend...because "my family is my primary ministry (thank you, Priscilla) "...and they would like to have a straight house to enjoy the weekend in, I think.
Then off to make a master list for next week...
Thursday, March 15, 2007
lent day 20, I think
lent day thursday...:-)
Did not follow through with my Bible Study this week...I think it would have been good for me, too...talked about (in part) how our families should not be viewed as an interruption but as our area of ministry.
Sometimes that is tough...like if I feel pressure on getting a song done or practicing for conducting the choir and one of the other Buffaloes needs me...it's irritating...
So now, memo to self...keep the family as a top priority and trust that God will work out whatever needs to be worked out to get the other things done...and if I am wasting time, help me to see it and be motivated to stop it.
Bible listening still going very well...I can't believe I have never done it before. So so good.
Next week is Spring Break. Hoping to really make a dent in our purging/organizing...that is the part where I have been lacking...
Did not follow through with my Bible Study this week...I think it would have been good for me, too...talked about (in part) how our families should not be viewed as an interruption but as our area of ministry.
Sometimes that is tough...like if I feel pressure on getting a song done or practicing for conducting the choir and one of the other Buffaloes needs me...it's irritating...
So now, memo to self...keep the family as a top priority and trust that God will work out whatever needs to be worked out to get the other things done...and if I am wasting time, help me to see it and be motivated to stop it.
Bible listening still going very well...I can't believe I have never done it before. So so good.
Next week is Spring Break. Hoping to really make a dent in our purging/organizing...that is the part where I have been lacking...
Thursday, March 8, 2007
lent day something:-)
Not sure what day we are on. Ever started something that was going so well and then through no fault of your own, it started kind of unraveling? Well, I am not sure that I am blameless here, but it just seems that alot of my days are not working toward my final goal and I don't understand why...
Not going into details here, but life is happening, even though I am holding pretty well to my lent fasting...back to center on the Bible listening (have I mentioned that it is very entertaining and excellent?) and the thing I have actually given up has given me a measure of freedom, but not the freedom to make tremendous progress on my goals...Not sure what that means...So I am just (figuratively) looking at my feet and taking one step and then another, trying not to concern myself with the outcome, but doing my part every day.
My cousin is here this weekend and she is always fun to be around, so that has been new and different.
Must go do some stuff before I pick up the little buffaloes.
Field trip tomorrow, so may check in or not....
Thanks for stopping by.
Not going into details here, but life is happening, even though I am holding pretty well to my lent fasting...back to center on the Bible listening (have I mentioned that it is very entertaining and excellent?) and the thing I have actually given up has given me a measure of freedom, but not the freedom to make tremendous progress on my goals...Not sure what that means...So I am just (figuratively) looking at my feet and taking one step and then another, trying not to concern myself with the outcome, but doing my part every day.
My cousin is here this weekend and she is always fun to be around, so that has been new and different.
Must go do some stuff before I pick up the little buffaloes.
Field trip tomorrow, so may check in or not....
Thanks for stopping by.
Monday, March 5, 2007
lent day 12
The last 24 hours have been a real shortfall of where I would have thought things should have been by this time today.
We did NOT listen to our Bible thing last night. I feel bad about that and I know that we can double listen and get caught up, but still...(perfectionism)
Yesterday was a combination of constant stressful activity and again attempting to nurse sick people to health...
Eating carbs yesterday and today (probably because I am entitled to..ugh)
I wasn't aware of all the things I was going to have to do today until this morning and the list keeps getting longer...not liking that. And none none none of it is working toward my lenten goals :-).
So back to the jobs I need to do...just checking in.
We did NOT listen to our Bible thing last night. I feel bad about that and I know that we can double listen and get caught up, but still...(perfectionism)
Yesterday was a combination of constant stressful activity and again attempting to nurse sick people to health...
Eating carbs yesterday and today (probably because I am entitled to..ugh)
I wasn't aware of all the things I was going to have to do today until this morning and the list keeps getting longer...not liking that. And none none none of it is working toward my lenten goals :-).
So back to the jobs I need to do...just checking in.
Saturday, March 3, 2007
lent day ten
Well, I am noticing that I didn't post yesterday and the world did not implode...funny how I get a sense of inflated self importance...
So, sick buffalo-ettes here...a remnant still remains...
Mr. Buffalo is home today.
Recorded another song...so that's 2 for 6. :-)
On track with the Bible listening. Still liking it.
Cleaned out the car today.
Taking down the snowmen from the mantel today, I think. I don't like jobs like that (or cleaning the car for that matter) because they are not contributing to my goal, but they still need to be done.
May try to clean out a couple of drawers or something.
Something....
Grudgingly I have to say that my "lent fast" item has in fact, given me more time in my day, and that on the whole I am more relaxed...kind of funny.
Checking my list of things to do for a relaxed Sabbath, and then I am out of here...
I think this is all actually working.
So, sick buffalo-ettes here...a remnant still remains...
Mr. Buffalo is home today.
Recorded another song...so that's 2 for 6. :-)
On track with the Bible listening. Still liking it.
Cleaned out the car today.
Taking down the snowmen from the mantel today, I think. I don't like jobs like that (or cleaning the car for that matter) because they are not contributing to my goal, but they still need to be done.
May try to clean out a couple of drawers or something.
Something....
Grudgingly I have to say that my "lent fast" item has in fact, given me more time in my day, and that on the whole I am more relaxed...kind of funny.
Checking my list of things to do for a relaxed Sabbath, and then I am out of here...
I think this is all actually working.
Thursday, March 1, 2007
lent day eight
Entitlement and Perfectionism
One of the smartest people, Biblically, that I ever knew once said (my loose paraphrase), "When I experience a trial, I say to the Lord, 'Lord, please help me to learn the lesson I am supposed to learn this time around so I don't have to do this again.'"
And yet, when I was going through a kind of rough day (yesterday) with my kids sick at home and all, what did I do once I had alone time? I got them all to bed for a nap and came down the stairs and said to myself, "Now, I am going to relax and spend some time on the computer...(first mistake...see here...) I would like to put a counter on my blog that counts down to the end of lent/Resurrection Sunday. Where did I find that the last time?"
Looking
looking
looking
dink
dink
dink
for over an hour...
(second mistake...see here)
Entitlement and perfectionism...
I am entitled to do this because my day, on the whole, has not been pleasant, and I will allow myself to be caught up in this little rabbit trail until it is completed (perfectionism) even though it is worthless in the grand scheme of things and it is eating away at my only flexible time.
Do you care how many days there are until Lent is over? I suspect you do not...
So, again last night and this morning I was ripping through my Bible Study so I would be finished in time for the discussion.
And it was excellent.
And just what I needed...all about making a plan of attack to get yourself together spiritually.
HOW are you going to make time for a quiet time?
HOW are you going to remember to pray in your day?
etc.
I love that kind of stuff...and yet, there I was yesterday, dinking around...
So that I don't wallow in the regret of this, I am purposing now to do my lesson over some days...in the morning...before everyone else gets up.
There...another problem solved...check back with me on March 15th and see how I did.
:-)
One of the smartest people, Biblically, that I ever knew once said (my loose paraphrase), "When I experience a trial, I say to the Lord, 'Lord, please help me to learn the lesson I am supposed to learn this time around so I don't have to do this again.'"
And yet, when I was going through a kind of rough day (yesterday) with my kids sick at home and all, what did I do once I had alone time? I got them all to bed for a nap and came down the stairs and said to myself, "Now, I am going to relax and spend some time on the computer...(first mistake...see here...) I would like to put a counter on my blog that counts down to the end of lent/Resurrection Sunday. Where did I find that the last time?"
Looking
looking
looking
dink
dink
dink
for over an hour...
(second mistake...see here)
Entitlement and perfectionism...
I am entitled to do this because my day, on the whole, has not been pleasant, and I will allow myself to be caught up in this little rabbit trail until it is completed (perfectionism) even though it is worthless in the grand scheme of things and it is eating away at my only flexible time.
Do you care how many days there are until Lent is over? I suspect you do not...
So, again last night and this morning I was ripping through my Bible Study so I would be finished in time for the discussion.
And it was excellent.
And just what I needed...all about making a plan of attack to get yourself together spiritually.
HOW are you going to make time for a quiet time?
HOW are you going to remember to pray in your day?
etc.
I love that kind of stuff...and yet, there I was yesterday, dinking around...
So that I don't wallow in the regret of this, I am purposing now to do my lesson over some days...in the morning...before everyone else gets up.
There...another problem solved...check back with me on March 15th and see how I did.
:-)
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